MLaw Hires Yale Toilet Seat to Teach Torts

By Anonymous

art by: In-House Clownsel

Thomas Edmonson, a toilet seat at one of the nation’s premier law schools, is joining the University of Michigan Law School faculty. Edmonson’s arrival further elevates the institution’s robust position as a scholarly leader in Tort Law. 

Edmonson has spent 32 years serving under illustrious Yale faculty such as Owen Fiss and Paul Gewirtz. It was there that Edmonson solidified his reputation as a firm yet comfortable supporter of some of our nation’s top legal minds, including current Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. His 2018 essay titled “Proximate Cause and Butt-For Causation in Contemporary Tort Law” won that year’s Number Two Prize for best article in the Harvard Law Review. 

“I am excited to sit down with Edmonson myself and see what he has to offer,” said Dean Mark West, as he took a final sip of his steaming-hot coffee and quickly excused himself.