Critical Thinking Is Not a Real Skill

art by: In-House Clownsel

By Anonymous

The only time someone will tell you that they are teaching you to think critically is when they are stealing money from you. Law school tells you that it teaches you to think critically, because so much of the stuff you learn is actually useless and not applicable to anything. If a professor tells you that their class is about teaching critical thinking you need to drop out of that class.

Law school can teach you some useful things:

1. How to file motions, use electronic court systems, etc. that are practical;

2. How to write like a dork in a way that judges, magistrates, partners, etc. think is really good;

3. Socializing with your betters.

That’s really about it. If you actually want to learn something, buy a chainsaw or some other type of power tool and read the instruction manual. It’s a far better use of your time. Learn how to bake bread. If you burn it the first time, figure out how to not do that the second time.

Normal people (not lawyers, or law students) are rightfully skeptical of the law and “critical thinking.” As much as clarity of thought is prized and accoladed, the law itself is a mess that no one outside of the profession understands. None of it is written clearly. None of the case law really reconciles. Lawyers are the people who pick up bits and pieces of this mess, and use a highly specialized language to cartelize money and power and influence.

Lawyers and other highly trained professionals scoff at the lack of critical thinking in people they think are not as smart as they are. There is only so much law school to go around. The application process is highly selective, and most people never had a chance from the moment they were born. Learning “critical thinking” to the average person is as useful as memorizing the names of seas on the Moon. It’s a parlor trick. Next time you use your critical thinking skills, think critically about what you actually did, and whether there was actually some sort of special skill involved.